Order 66

Guys, this isn’t funny, ok?

stormtrooper1138 — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 19:40:44 +0000

While looking for that blasted Blaster, 5246 says he found this stuck on the wall in the Level 3 Canteen area washrooms:

Have some of you been drinking too much Jawa Juice while off duty? Do you have any IDEA what would happen should Grand Moff Tarkin or worse yet, Lord Vader himself see this?

Listen people, we need to cut this foolishness out. Seriously. Do you want to get us all in trouble? Believe me, the best case scenario as far as punishment goes is death (hopefully by disintegration) in this instance. And that’s if you’re lucky, let me tell you.

Missing Blaster

stormtrooper1138 — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 19:23:55 +0000

Just bumped into 5251 in the Level 7 Surveillance room – he’s upset because he’s misplaced his blaster.

“Hey 5251, how’s it going? Seen anything suspicious lately?”

“..have you seen Sharla?”

“Sharla?”

“My Blaster. I can’t seem to find her anywhere..”

“No, I…wait, you named your Blaster ‘Sharla’?”

“She was the best Blaster I ever had! Without her, I would never have taken down that Krayt dragon during that Sandtrooper training exercise on Tatooine. She saved our skins that day, and even more importantly, I received a Commendation!”

“Yeh..uh..she..she was something all right…well um, look, why don’t you just take a Blaster off the rack over there and..”

“WHAT!? NO! Don’t you understand!? I can’t just replace her like that. I can’t throw away all the good times we had together – all the things we’ve been through, all the things we’ve seen. No. That just wouldn’t be right…I’ve got to get her back.”

“…”

“…?”

“We are still talking about a Blaster right?”

Anyway, I promised him I’d have a look around. The rest of you should do the same…if any of you happen to spot a standard issue E-11 Blaster Rifle, similar to the one WE ALL HAVE then let me know.

Cape malfunction

stormtrooper1138 — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 23:04:44 +0000

I just saw Lord Vader get his cape stuck in the door to the turbolift. Boy, was he not amused. He came striding out of the lift and then suddenly, next thing I know, he’s flailing around like a Bothan Well-Spider.

I would’ve paid any amount of Republic Credits to see the look on his face!

(Well, I’d pay any amount just to see his face at all, since…you know. What’s with that anyway? I heard he got burned pretty bad…maybe it’s really bad acne. Yeah, that’s probably it.)

Alpha Transmission

stormtrooper1138 — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 20:05:54 +0000

Ok guys, as you know we received the directive from above to stop using the comlink unless it’s about ‘important matters’ (I don’t see what the big deal is, we’ve got the Rebels running scared anyway – and surely that time when 1457 got his helmet stuck in the exhaust port was pretty serious? I mean, how exactly were we supposed to take off with his big head rammed up the rear of the shuttle?), so I decided to switch to this alternative method to let you all know what’s up. Just a quick reminder for now: tomorrow is 7063′s birthday. And 7064′s. And 7065′s. And..well, what the hey, the whole 7000 division. Those clones…they think they’re so much better than us.